KOOKY DAWGS

A BRIEF CHARACTER OVERVIEW (extract)

BONE HUR

•  A straight forward big softy with a simple sense of humor. He is a gullible giant who still believes in Santa ‘Claws'. He would like to make friends with everybody and cannot conceive that someone would deliberately want to harm him. He takes any affront or act of aggression against him as a sign of affection or call to play. He will then joyfully give as good as he gets.

•  A heavy-handed but cuddly big dope with a pug nose, boxer's chin and a builder's bum. He is proud of his claws which he likes to polish on his leather straps and with which he scratches his podgy belly.

•  Shows remarkable blind courage in trying to gain Betty's appraisal. He wills top at nothing to fulfil her every wish, indeed, she only has to utter her fancy ans he will single-mindedly bowl everyone out of the way to fetch it. But with a head like a sieve, he is incapable of retaining more than one thought at a time and invariably gets distracted from his goal en route.

•  Loves to touch soft and fluffy things and creatures which he will squeeze affectionately. His heart goes all spongy at the mere sight of Betty and then he gets an irresistible urge to just kiss everybody. The others will run like mad from his powerful hug and slurpy kisses “I gotta hug, I gotta hug,… give me someone to hug…”

•  He loves to be “mothered”, even by the old washer woman with forearms like marrows.

•  Gets all dopey and bashful in Betty's company and can but stand there weak-kneed, fluttering his heavy eyelids, twiddling his thumbs and picking his claws. His stuttering disappears when he sings to serenade her, which he does in a sweet high-pitched voice.

•  Possesses incredible force and is capable (not deliberately) of playfully squeezing the living daylights out of any adversary, though never loses his temper. His impetuosity (which leaves him open to all sorts of traps), lack of wit and dislike for heights slow down his pace considerably.

CAPTAIN BONE (Captain Bonaparte)

•  An imperturbable sailor who “has rubbed shoulders with the world” and who dreams of taking Betty away in his bath tub on a “bone voyage” to Bonas Aires, Bonebay, Bonekok…

•  He uses his tail to propel himself under water, his pipe as a periscope, his flat feet as flippers and claims to have a bone in every port.

•  Swigs, swaggers and sways like a lapping barrel of rum. Has a stack of Gin Rummy songs to “shiver your timers” and liven your liver”. Is never without his cap and his smoke even in the bath tub where he hums or croons La Vie en Rose .

•  A wisecrack, blasé, romantic, definitely a charmer. A happy-go-lucky, cunning sea dog who takes his own good time.

•  He knows how to treat a dame (of course, he has known so many)… Offers flowers, bones,, odd slippers.. He calls Betty his darling, “ma cherie…” and , romantically turning away, leaves his limp hand to linger in hers, which, of course, she leaves to flap in the air. This he will take as a tease meant to quicken his passion as no lassie could possibly resist his undeniable charms.

•  In Betty's presence he affects a French accent, makes out to be a “Frenchy” from Marseilles (which he pronounces “Marseillèse”). In truth his grandfather was French, and when in private or in a temper he slips black into his own American sailor's accent.

•  Has a tendency to exaggerate. And, cheekily, when an adversary mentions gaining favor with Betty he will ironically riposte not without a point of jealousy : “and I bet when you go fishin', you catch big fishes too!”

•  An experienced navigator, but once on land has a hard job navigating his way to the door! His large feet that steady him so well on a ship, on land, seem to get in the way. Dislikes heights but does like to bounce on the rubber space hopper as it reminds him of the sea.


AIR BONE

•  Lean and lanky with a stoop and a stiff upper lip. A wacky ex-RAF pilot, impeccably well-mannered, eloquent and superior. A high-flying adventurer who isn't shy of a bit of sport, especially a good old “dogfight, what”.

•  Foxy, tricky, shrewd and scheming, he has a tactical, pioneering and orderly mind. He is then, in theory, cool and calculating.

•  But in practice, due to his short-sightedness which his monocle only aggravates, his plans inevitably take an unexpected turn. For example, he will aim at an adversary with a canon, hit another object instead which in turn will ricochet onto a stack of wood causing it to collapse on the intended target.

•  Claims to be a thoroughbred which GI BONE or CAPTAIN BONE mocks him about and COW BONE scoffs at. One of the old school, likes to ramble on about his grandfather, an illustrious Oxford foxhound.

•  A true sportsman, a champion of fair play (providing, of course, things are done by his rules), he gets uptight when someone plays a dirty trick on him. In fact he can't stand losing and stamps about in an awful stink when things go wrong : “blasted, stinking, pooping…”

•  Devilishly good-looking, a hound of means, high birth and “stocks and bones”, what more could a hound of the fairer sex want?

•  Affects a dandyish stance in Betty's company which only further sets off the awkwardness of his knobbly elbows and knees. Addresses Betty as his “beloved” whilst twiddling his perfumed moustache.

•  Plays his screeching violin to serenade Betty and tries to impress her with his intrepid tales of dog-fighting days back in dear old England which only bore her. She will leave him there holding out a bone which he takes her finger!…


BOOM BONE

•  A freaky revolutionary, an irresistible rascal, he is clever, though his plans more often than not spring back in his face or work unexpectedly (Murphy's law). Nevertheless, an effusive Jack the lad and practical joker who particularly likes to pick on the dim-witted and slow-to-react Bone Hur.

•  A daredevil mutt, small, nimble, ready and willing, but impetuous an easily distracted. A crafty, cheeky tyke, a smart alec who, as a pup, pup red pepper in Santa ‘Claws'' milk, and didn't believe smoking could stunt your growth.

•  Chews relentlessly over his cigar, scratches his head vigorously to think up a new plan. When he fins something like a stick of dynamite he gets that irresistible mischievous glint in his eye. Before the final touch will take a final drag on his cigar.

•  A smelly, a dirty shaggy mutt, hates to be clean, water petrifies him. If ever he gets a dunking he feels disgusted and has to quickly find a mucky place to roll in.

•  Loves engines and getting grimy, playing with matches and things that go bang , and dreams of inviting Betty to a “bonefire” with lots of fireworks. But he just can't seem to control himself, let alone his tongue, when she's near, she simply drives him loony before he can spit anything out.

•  He is prey to the sudden urges of his imagination that lead him into all sorts of trouble. He is quick but his recklessness slows his down, indeed, is afraid of nothing and is joyfully tempted to have a go at everything.