Ryzom meets Chuck

[d29565]

A little humor for you forum dwellers, courtesy of your ever friendly and loving neXus guild.

Chuck Norris doesn't dodge aggro. Aggro dodges him.
Chuck Norris once made a supernode pop by roundhouse-kicking the dirt.
Chuck Norris gets a 10% chance to enter clearcast after casting a spell, and that's not even *in* this game.
Chuck Norris flags for PvP as Kami *and* Karavan, at the same time.
Chuck Norris doesn't use cats. He gets *triple* XP all the time, which he doesn't need because he's mastered all skills.
When Chuck Norris masters a skill, he goes all the way up to 300.
Chuck Norris once declared on an OP by himself, and won.
Chuck Norris declared on one OP, and won a second at the same time.
Chuck Norris can carry an entire stack of launcher ammo without slowing. Which is good, because he once killed a Kincher by kicking his packer into it.
Chuck Norris doesn't use ranged weapons. He just throws the ammo at his foes for 2x damage.
Sometimes Chuck Norris doesn't even bother to craft ammo. He just beats his foes down with the mats.
Chuck Norris doesn't need an OP to mine cats. The cats jump up from the ground at the sound of his footsteps.
Chuck Norris can dual-weild 2h swords... and get +100 to casting speed and power while doing it.
Chuck Norris bought a Tryker apartment in Pyr, and got one.
Chuck Norris doesn't kill Manda. Manda sheds her skin when she sees him coming.
Fibers from Chuck Norris's beard have better stats than Supreme Kitin Larvae.
Chuck Norris doesn't worship Jena. Jena worships Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't go boss-hunting. He *is* the boss.
When Chuck Norris enters the LoU PvP zone, all other players die instantly. Even the ones not in a PvP zone.
Chuck Norris doesn't dig different mats. He forces whatever mat he digs into whatever he wants to craft. And it has a 125% bonus.
Chuck Norris does all his crafting using the Close Combat skill.
When Chuck Norris uses his Taunt skill, the game tells him that he doesn't gain experience from killing because it's too easy. He gets the experience anyway, though.
Chuck Norris can bomb Affliction spells... Offensive and Defensive, simultaneously.
Chuck Norris can *triple*-nuke.
Chuck Norris nerfs.
When Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicks a mob, it doesn't just die---it gets max DP on respawn.
All outpost sites used to have buildings on them, until Chuck Norris kicked most of them down.
Chuck Norris can choose "neutral" at an OP battle, and win.
Sehraci shot at Chuck Norris at an OP, and bullets got scared and turned around.
Chuck Norris has four packers.
If Chuck Norris were to ever bother digging, the Kipees would stay away.
Chuck Norris doesn't Taunt. He just waits.
Chuck Norris doesn't get crafting degrades. He gets "extra successes".
Chuck Norris never runs out of space. His apartment expands when he needs it.
Chuck Norris once defeated a CSR in a duel.
When Chuck Norris clears a field of mobs, they don't repop until they're sure he's gone.
Chuck Norris never mistells. Other people are in the wrong channel.
Chuck Norris doesn't suffer GOO damage. The Goo suffers CHUCK NORRIS damage!
Chuck Norris doesn't need boss mats, because everything he crafts is already better than Supreme.
Chuck Norris once kicked a Yubo in Pyr and it came down on Fijoo's head, killing him.
Jena hasn't come to Atys because she's afraid of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris's armours don't decay with use. They improve with use.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to wear armor, because nothing wants to hit him for fear of making him mad.
Ninja Yubos get their training from Chuck Norris.

Add more if you can think of something super awesome, and dont forget about humor!

[graysky]

A few more that didn't make it into my log before Keiko posted it:

Disconnects happen when Chuck Norris hits something harder tha the server can handle.
There is no such thing as packet loss. Chuck Norris gets them all.
Chuck Norris doesn't lag at OP battles. He *causes* lag at OP battles.
When Chuck Norris prospects, the sources all stay on the surface until he's done with them.
Chuck Norris doesn't just prospect for multiple spots, he digs multiple spots simultaneously. By kicking them.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to log in. He doesn't even need a subscription. The client knows who he is.

Remember, neXus is the guild with 80's surfer slang and Chuck Norris facts!

[ffxjosh]

Chuck Norris once tagged up as netural. The conserquences were devistating.
Chunk Norris doesn't need the fear spell. HE IS FEAR
Or
When you cast a fear spell. the 'ghosts' that appear are all the people Chuck Norris has killed
Chuck Norris is Wins Yubo-Ball by sitting down.
Chuck Norris can get dive into and get out of, the pool at Virgina Falls.
The Kami secret osais is trying to stay a secret, because its the one place on Atys where the Kami feel safe from Chuck Norris


Thats just a couple off the top of my head.

[scarazi]

to quote dodgeball- "f***ing chuck norris" thanks for the laugh

[iwojimmy]

Chuck Norris has his own face as a Zoraï mask

[zepth071]

"Chuck Norris can carry an entire stack of launcher ammo without slowing. Which is good, because he once killed a Kincher by kicking his packer into it."

ROFL! That's a good one xD

[arfindel]

*Chuck...les loudly*

[acridiel]

Chuck Norris is all races at once, arrogant as a Matis, strong as a Fyros, compact as a tryker, and sometimes even as blue as a Zorai.
Chuck Norris has no fear of Ma´Duk eating his soul, he eats Ma`Duk.
Chuck Norris now IS Ma´Duk.
The Dragon won´t wake up because it is scared of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the Dargon into Orbit.
Chuck Norris now IS the Dragon!
Chuck Norris followed Elias Tryton into the roots, that´s why we´ve never seen the later again.
Chuck Norris now IS Elias Tryton, only he does not want us to know.

CU
Acridiel

[martinr]

Not exactly a clever or original one from me.. but..

Chuck Norris mastered all ranged combats at the same time, simply by pointing his finger at a Yubo and shouting 'BANG'


*goes and hides again in fear of getting a roundhouse kick related pain for lack of originallity :P*

[mugendo]

When God said "LET THERE BE LIGHT !!!"....Chuck Norris said "Say Please"




Found that in a google search